she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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