the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
