if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize