Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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