Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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