Screwed.edu
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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