it's not cheating when I paid for it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
