i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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