reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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