she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
