So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize