they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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