We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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