my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
