Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
