i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
