Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
