I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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