Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
