If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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