It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
