So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize