He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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