Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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