What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
