is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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