I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize