So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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