and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
