I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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