You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
