yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
