The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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