no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
