I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
now i know why i became what i already was.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i think i just lost a toe
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
