I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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