Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
