He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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