I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
