You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
