Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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