you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
