Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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