Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
