my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
