I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
