I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
