I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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