My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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