I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
