Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize