I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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