Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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