I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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