so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
