Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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