so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
