I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
