Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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