worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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