I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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