just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
