Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
