chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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