That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize