there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
