New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
