just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
