you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize