I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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